Al Bundy's Dart, it's not

Because it's better. By at least 10%. This, my friends, is the Plymouth Valiant Signet that's been occupying my time. It runs good, steers mostly, idles and stops poorly. But it is 99% rust free and complete. Best of all, nobody has fucked with it before me.

Finally, back to MoPar

Uh oh, it's Cook's Corner time again!

Well howdy doo! I made my way back out to Cook's and it just so happened to be Blessing of the bikes day! Hot dog! Bunches of motorbike enthusiasts were out and I was real keen to snap photos of all those nifty motorcycles! It was swell! Haha, I'm so full of shit. It was lame. But funny. Because I find humor in other people's ignorance. What an asshole. Enjoy!

 So it begins

 Sporty with an off the shelf metalflake helmet? Shocking.

 Hey, an FXR! That's kinda nifty

 Oh Jesus

 Another FXR! Daaamn!

 Subtle. I like it. For being limey.

 Normal Sporty right?

 NOPE! This motherfucker is an OUTLAW! WATCH THE FUCK OUT!

 Ugh, if you say so dude....

 I, personally, completely disagree.

Bike not fast? Bike not cool? Add some SKULLS AND CHROME! 

Awwww, they're like brother and sister motorbikes. Who then engage in incest and make half retarded chopper babies.

Cinco de Mayonaise

Been a while. Been busy. New car and carbs and work and such. BUT, here's Sinko de Miao!

When I arrived, this was the only person there. The world's loneliest mexican. No mexican should be this lonely on the day of Mayonaise.

 I can't even take a decent picture.

 What's the difference between a fag and a Nazi? 45 degrees. Which isn't much, because only 6 degrees separates me from Kevin Bacon.

 You should.

Excuse me miss, I can see your dirty pillows

Zombie town

So, I don't recommend spending any more time in Baker than it takes to put gas in your vehicle. This place BLOWS. And it smells like shit. Literally. It is a giant, warm, windy port-a-potty. Also, zombies live here.

 This motel is abandoned. Abandoned motel in a desert = zombies and or chainsaw wielding maniacs.

 I'm also pretty sure they live under the janky-ass bridge as well.

 BONUS ALIENS!

I'm Drunk

Yeah, I'm drunk. What of it? Fuck you. At least I got to spend the evening with the hottest chick ever. Don't believe me? I don't give a shit! Get bent! See you all sometime this weekend?

Technical difficulties

Viva was fun, for work, as usual. Good looking broads this year. Unfortunately, the ride home was anything but pleasant.

 Where the FXRape Machine's battery called it quits. Actually, that's a lie. It quite 2 miles before this, but the lil' fella refused to give up and damn near got me rolled into town.

 That's battery acid draining like blood from my steed

As you all can see, the scenery was very exciting. Totally not boring. Or hot. Good thing I had all the battery water draining out, because I forgot to bring some. Luckily the tow truck showed up within 2 hours and only charged me $180 to tow me 2.4 miles! It was all around swell. Pictures of zombie town in the next installment.

After the Street Chopper show....

I went and got drunk at my favorite barber shop.

 By this point in the night it was pouring rain, so my motorbike got to stay inside for a minute

 All the classy broads party with bikers

See. True story.